Tuesday, April 1st, 2014
I went into therapy today. I read Session 3 aloud to my therapist. I didn't think it was too hard to do.
After I was done she told me about my body language as I read it. Unknowingly to me, I was tightening my legs as they were stretch out along the couch. I kept crossing and moving them. She also said my jaw was very tightened. My voice also changed from weak to heavy.
I didn't notice any of that as I read it. My mind was on my words.
Then I read my entry about my dream.
She looked at me as if she was in shock. I asked, "This IS normal, right?"
She asked me if I had decided to look Kyle up online after she told me she couldn't find him.
I told her, flat out, NO. I do not want to know anything more than whether there's a chance I could see him again while visiting my dad. My brain has blocked out his face for a damn good reason, and I don't want to chance seeing his photo online.
She then told me that she had lied to me about finding him. She didn't want me to know... yet. He was not in jail. Never (as far as she could see on his records) has been. He lives in the same area.
He is a dad with two children.
He has a wife.
He is a lawyer.
He is a lawyer?
She asked me if there was any way I would know that information and would have blocked it out.
No. I have never, ever, seen or heard anything about him since the accounts.
I said it was a coincidence... my dream and his real profession.
She said it was more than a coincidence. She said it was spiritual. Something was preparing me. I needed to know.
I said it was a coincidence.
She asked me how I felt now.
I said, "Good." She asked why. I said, "This means it was only me."
